Ed, you just expressed all the thoughts going through my mind in the last several days. (well, not every thought, but a heck of a lot of them - at least, ones pertaining to this conversation). I should leave it at that:>) (for now)
Marco - really, El Salvador? My father was born in Panama, grew up in Cuba, and came to the US in 1931 when Battista took over. His family’s maid, Lucia Hernandez, came to stay with us in 1959 when Castro took over. we still have distant relatives in El Salvador, Costa Rica (where my father’s mother was born), Venezuela, Chile (or Argentina, I’m not sure), as well as Spain and numerous countries in Europe and North Africa.
I was the music director or La Virgen (sp?) de Guadalupe from 1981 to 1989. Father Dominguez (who appeared as an actor in some old 1950s B westerns, FWIW), my co-director, was in charge of immigration for the Archdiocese of NY, as I mentioned above, and we had a number of immigrants from El Salvador and Nicaragua in our choir.
To answer your question directly, the final masters thesis was a 45 minute composition for live orchestra, choir and electronic tape. I never put together a recording of the entire thing, though with some modifications (with the help of Logic Pro) I could probably do it with the tape. But at the moment, it’s on a tape cassette circa 1985 up in the top shelf of my closet. Some day I plan to have it digitized.
I did at one point find an abstract animated movie - mostly psychedelic swirls with astonishingly beautiful transitions - to which i added the “Oppy” tape as a soundtrack, and it was almost as though the animation was made for the soundtrack - they fit together perfectly.
I doubt if it will be less than a year, but I’m sure I"ll babble on about it pretty loudly once it gets done.
Oh well, i never know when to shut up.
Ed, yes, thanks. “Dedication to the text.” I know I’m going to regret this. My sense is - and I’m sure this is well meaning and it’s VERY difficult to avoid. my sense is people are reacting to their opinion, emotional feeling, analysis, etc of the LD text.
Someone, i forget who, asked why “consensus” was so important to me. I’m afraid I express myself very badly. I’m going to try again, maybe this will come across differently.
Since I’m talking to Ed now, I’ll say this to Ed, I think you’ll take it well. Ed, I dont’ care what YOU think about the text. really, at all. I don’t care what I think about the text either. I dont’ care what anyone’s reaction to it is either.
There, now that I’m sure I’ve riled up somebody!!!
What I’m suggesting, which has nothing to do with consensus or agreement of any kind, as that before expressing our reactions, thoughts, feelings, opinions, etc, we try (at least for a moment, i know, no rules here - i love that),
we try at some point to say something like this;
Here’s some text:
The true soul secret in us — subliminal, we have said, but the word is misleading, for this presence is not situated below the threshold of waking mind, but rather burns in the temple of the inmost heart behind the thick screen of an ignorant mind, life and body, not subliminal but behind the veil, — this veiled psychic entity is the flame of the Godhead always alight within us, inextinguishable even by that dense unconsciousness of any spiritual self within which obscures our outward nature. It is a flame born out of the Divine and, luminous inhabitant of the Ignorance, grows in it till it is able to turn it towards the Knowledge. It is the concealed Witness and Control, the hidden Guide, the Daemon of Socrates, the inner light or inner voice of the mystic. It is that which endures and is imperishable in us from birth to birth, untouched by death, decay or corruption, an indestructible spark of the Divine. Not the unborn Self or Atman, for the Self even in presiding over the existence of the individual is aware always of its universality and transcendence, it is yet its deputy in the forms of Nature, the individual soul, caitya purusa , supporting mind, life and body, standing behind the mental, the vital, the subtle-physical being in us and watching and profiting by their development and experience. These other person-powers in man, these beings of his being, are also veiled in their true entity, but they put forward temporary personalities which compose our outer individuality and whose combined superficial action and appearance of status we call ourselves: this inmost entity also, taking form in us as the psychic Person, puts forward a psychic personality which changes, grows, de- velops from life to life; for this is the traveller between birth and death and between death and birth, our nature parts are only its manifold and changing vesture. The psychic being can at first exercise only a concealed and partial and indirect action through the mind, the life and the body, since it is these parts of Nature that have to be developed as its instruments of self-expression, and it is long confined by their evolution. Missioned to lead man in the Ignorance towards the light of the Divine Consciousness, it takes the essence of all experience in the Ignorance to form a nucleus of soul-growth in the nature; the rest it turns into material for the future growth of the instruments which it has to use until they are ready to be a luminous instrumentation of the Divine. It is this secret psychic entity which is the true original Conscience in us deeper than the constructed and con- ventional conscience of the moralist, for it is this which points always towards Truth and Right and Beauty, towards Love and Harmony and all that is a divine possibility in us, and persists till these things become the major need of our nature. It is the psychic personality in us that flowers as the saint, the sage, the seer; when it reaches its full strength, it turns the being towards the Knowledge of Self and the Divine, towards the supreme Truth, the supreme Good, the supreme Beauty, Love and Bliss, the divine heights and largenesses, and opens us to the touch of spiritual sympathy, universality, oneness. On the contrary, where the psychic personality is weak, crude or ill-developed, the finer parts and movements in us are lacking or poor in character and power, even though the mind may be forceful and brilliant, the heart of vital emotions hard and strong and masterful, the life-force dominant and successful, the bodily existence rich and fortunate and an apparent lord and victor. It is then the outer desire-soul, the pseudo-psychic entity, that reigns and we mis- take its misinterpretations of psychic suggestion and aspiration, its ideas and ideals, its desires and yearnings for true soul-stuff and wealth of spiritual experience.If the secret psychic Person can come forward into the front and, replacing the desire-soul, govern overtly and entirely and not only partially and from behind the veil this outer nature of mind, life and body, then these can be cast into soul images of what is true, right and beautiful and in the end the whole nature can be turned towards the real aim of life, the supreme victory, the ascent into spiritual existence.
now I leave “me” and my opinions, thoughts, reactions, etc aside altogether.
what is Sri Aurobindo putting forth here (and yes, it’s definitely nothing to do with a model or argument or anything the ordinary mind can grasp)?
Here, not only do I welcome, but I can guarantee, we’ll have dramatically different senses of this, which is great. Not only will each of us have a different sense, but from moment to moment, we individually will have an ever-changing sense of it.
This may be true of all texts, but I find this more the case, in my own experience, with LD and Savitri than any other I’ve come across. And the seduction into thinking an argument is being presented - i’ve rarely heard the temptation put in better, more accurate language.
As i’ve humorously said before (I think I ruffled some Wilberian feathers without meaning to), take what Wilber says about the text and assume the opposite. Take whatever I say about the text and assume the opposite. Take whatever you think Sri A is saying about the text and assume the opposite. Then try not assuming anything. read with the feeling of utter confusion, bafflement, with discomfortable uneasy confusion growing by leaps and bounds.
oh, and desire. Assume that whatever human beings think “desire” means, the energy which appears in the vast unbounded Awareness as shaped through the Ideas that the finite/infintie intelligence chooses as She skates from unbounded Infinity to finite forms without losing the ecstasy of the Vastness and Openness, seems as if divided in the forms though always infinite, yet in the apparent separated seeming-individual this energy or fire of desire pushes against Her skating and delight and when this fire is unleashed as aspiration beyond desire the truer fuller richer more ecstaticer!!! ecstasy is seen to be the substance of all She/you/me/I/All enjoy in our cocaine induced frenzies and our love affairs with Kant and our sexual ripening opening to infants galore and 5 AM bacchanals.