Dear dreamers~ I am looking forward to joining you today, and I thought I’d share an image from a dream I had recently, perhaps only as an appetizer for a more expansive discussion, as this particular image is relatively simple but deep.
I was looking into my eyes, not exactly in a mirror, but directly, as if from the perspective of being inside a mirror looking at the looker.
I saw my dog Mooby’s eyes. She is old, and has been completely blind in one eye, her left eye, since 2014. I have long felt that Mooby is a part my soul. She has been with us, a member of our family (or we of her pack), since 2006—just after Kayla and I got married and I quite I-I (Integral Institute) and we bought this house and started a new life together.
Mooby has spent many hours of her life cuddled up with me on the sofa or in bed. We have walked together, run, meditated. (We have not played fetch, however, she never liked fetch.) But when we first adopted her I trained her to sit, wait, roll over, and at least indoors, we developed some rapport.
Outdoors, all of Mooby’s terrier instincts kick in—her dominance drive, her territoriality, her unilateral aggression toward rival dogs, her reflex to attempt to kill any small (or even larger) furry creature. She was never very good at being social, except with select other dogs, like our other canine companion who died three years ago, Particle Dog, my brother’s dog Mojo, and a former neighbor of our’s big slobbery boxer, who we used to house-sit occasionally.
Over the last 4 years since Mooby’s left eye clouded over, she has also gone mostly (but not completely) blind in the other eye and pretty completely deaf. She is approximately 14 years old now, and has slowed down considerably, but remains vigorous and able to run and jump and pester for treats. She often follows me to my studio during the day and sticks close to me when she can.
I have often wondered about Mooby’s terrier personality, her aggression, and more recently her blindness, and how these qualities may or may not reflect some aspects of my soul—and I wonder how well I am doing at integrating my inner Mooby.
We don’t have to talk about this exactly today. But I thought I would bring it up since Mooby’s blindness has been a metaphor I have been pondering for awhile. I wonder, in what ways am I blind or half-blind? What am I not seeing?
Here is picture from a short hike we did this summer: