“It is sometimes said that trauma remains with us in our cells, at a level beneath the analysis of memory and scars. As this volume argues, even this profound insight does not push far enough. As difficult as it may be to understand trauma and to deal with its reverberations, the process of trying to do so can be transformative–even hopeful.”-In the Wake of Trauma
And " Verbal Language"…and a Speech Impediment…and scar tissue…
I would like to hold all of these words in a wide embrace and wonder a bit about reading, writing and speech. All of these interfaces, folds in our vocal cords, flowing or broken speech, prose and poems, and the world wide web…and the web of the forest, the dirt, the birds vanishing quickly, polluted seas…
I am not at ease today as I am studying too many things. I am concentrating on a Quantum Mechanics module form an online course, as well as trying to stay on track with a novel I am reading by PKD and a lot of other projects and so I have to give attention to all of these projects up in the air, and it is like a juggler with lots of spinning plates. Some of the plates are crashing to the ground
The work that we started Healing White Body Supremacy a work that is eerie and full of risk and must arise organically. To come up with a personal theory about my own trauma becomes weirdly like a collective wound that has festered for too long.
Acting out with raised fists in the air, or gazing at one’s navel or talking with a paid professional who recommends a tranquiler-with all of these options I turn to books, to dreams, and to this online community of listening thinkers.
But fewer and fewer persons it seems are listening these days at this forum as I notice only Douglas ( out of the dozen regulars ) have offered a response, and that response is full of Doug’s own dignity as he acknowledge our struggle.
So, I am mindful of several audiences, and attention spans scattered, and the lack of rhythm. I miss sometimes the rhythms generated by organic thinkers thinking together. I am mindful of my own information dumping and try to avoid that and I also want to be aware of how much very good stuff is going on without my knowledge. You have consistently, Micheal, brought my attention to stuff I followed up on with head-heart-gut awareness. And this work we have done is the result of that research creation.
Having read Resmaa, as you recommended, I am saddened that so many of our colleagues here are not interested in these dark~~light musings upon our collective trauma. There seems little joint attention going on here. That is why I hoped to address this in a small gathering that is closed but have a recording that is open. This is a fragile coordination, and getting it right is not an option. Embracing our failure seems to be incredibly wise.
Having said all of that I am very glad we have used the digitized gadgetry the best way we know how in service of the analogue, the photo of faces long gone, the residue, the trace of a nightmare still fresh and very much alive in our streets and our flat screens.
So, I am open to whatever happens next and will assume a confidence not in my own capacity but in the wisdom of the trio, and perhaps quartet,if we include Douglas, and wonder about what happens next?
Although, I am aware of the tendency to dissociate, to check out, I am glad that I have found some allies here, who are able to catch the rhythms we offer each other. That is why I work so extensively with Clean Language protocols. It is a way of allowing another to have her own rhythm . This is not for everyone, as we live in a culture that is trying to make something out of nothing. And that culture is dying…and what happens next?
I imagine we could begin to imagine another future and another species that will not speak our language but who will have a chance because we heard them in the cracks and crevices and folds of our own speech…they are in a very real sense already here.
I hope this riff makes sense and thanks to all of those who have made this possible and may those that come after us forgive but never forget.